Well, sorry I just kind of dropped off with the blogs there for a couple of weeks. But the last couple of weeks were amazing, and I got home this past week. I miss it soooo much. I miss the people. I miss the church services. I even miss the weather. I hope to go back next summer, and until then I don't know what I'm going to do.
I went to church this morning at a huge local church, and the service was complete with strobe lights and an awesome band and a worship leader with an Australian accent (you know what I'm talking about). I was surrounded by hundreds of other people from similar backgrounds. I understood every word of what was said and could sing along with the songs. And I was bored out of my mind.
I realized that I know fewer people in my mega church I've been attending for 2 years than I do people in a church in Mexico that averages fewer than 50 people each Sunday. I realized that I felt God's presence more in a Spanish service than I do in services in my own language. I realized I worry more about checking to make sure the doors are locked at night here in my nice neighborhood in a small town in Kentucky than I ever worried about my safety in a foreign country.
And I miss it. I miss the faces. I miss the laughter. I miss the Spanish flying around me, leaving me lost but amazed. I miss the hugs. I miss the kids. But what I probably miss most of all is God. I'm sure I can find Him here, but man, it's a lot harder. A lot harder. I have always heard about American distractions and feeling far from God, but I never knew how far I had been until I felt close to Him this summer. And now I feel like I left God in Mexico. I know, I know, God is everywhere. He is here in Nicholasville just as much as He was in Camp Vergel. But it's so much harder for me to see Him here. I don't know exactly what to learn from this. I don't know if that means it's God's will for me to live in a foreign country, although I think that's a possibility. I don't know if He just wants me to work for it and struggle forward. I don't know if He wants me to drop everything and go be a missionary (I doubt it, but right now I'm holding out hope). All I know is this: I miss Mexico. And I can't wait to get back there.
